...Relax - Have some dip.

What's all the fighting aboot?

2010-06-27T10:48:00.001-07:00

Canada, we need to talk. When it comes to subverting the system and standing tall against the man when the rights of a population are being encroached upon, I'm right there with you. Honestly, I am. But, there's one thing you have to understand. Are you listening, Canada? Regarding the G20 riots in Toronto... Fighting with riot police is not a form of protest. Torching a police car isn't standing up for your rights. It's fighting with riot police and torching a police car. You're not making a point and you're sure as hell not changing anything. You're being silly and ignorant. Now, I know what you're going to say, Canada. "We're fighting to give the power back to the people." Really? Have you ever read a freakin' book? A magazine? Watch the news? The people haven't had the power for a long, long time. And, a bunch of hippies, drunken imbeciles, stoners and drifters aren't going to change that by taunting a large group of cops with helments, shields, and clubs. Besides; you're Canada. In the words of George Carlin (may he rest in whatever state he wishes) you're "America's hat". I love hockey and beer as much as you do! But, if there is one thing I've learned by living in America, it's that taunting the police does not create an opportunity for open, constructive dialogue. It creates an opportunity to get the living shit kicked out of you. Rightfully so! I watched a video where one of you yell "this is OUR street". Oh really, Francis? It seems to me the street belongs to the folks with the helmets, shields and clubs. If you all need an outlet for your aggression, why don't you stick to what you know, Canada. Go have a stout, lace up your skates, grab a stick and puck, get your asses out on the ice and beat the shit out of each other there. At least America will have something worthwhile to watch. We might even respect you more. Probably not. But it'll probably be better than spending the weekend in jail with a head injury recovering from the tear gas.

Devine Disappointment

2010-05-05T16:37:00.001-07:00

I'm beginning to think that if God truly does exist, he settled for very little. Have you looked around lately?

Fuckin' Pay Attention!

2010-02-23T10:12:00.000-08:00

Everyone needs to think about how awesome I am. Right now. Seriously - I'll wait. Let's face it, most of you have nothing better to do.

Janis Joplin

2008-11-20T08:12:00.000-08:00

1. Ugly
2. Drunk
3. Couldn't sing

Doesn't seem like we're missing much, does it?

Pachouli - The fragrance of failures

2008-07-30T11:26:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't it be funny if later we find out that Dave Matthews hates hippies? I'd love to see the reactions of these nimrods. Problem is, they'd probably be too stoned to react.

Smells Like Crappy Music

2008-07-18T09:01:00.000-07:00

Can we do away with Nirvana? For just a little while? Seriously, every time I turn the radio station to get away from these guys, they show up again.

Newsflash: Kurt Cobain was a heroin-slamming, long-haired, white-trash imbecile. His contribution to music was miniscule and tepid at best. Ah, but there is a bright side to all this. He's dead.

What's all the crying aboot?

2008-07-17T08:30:00.000-07:00

I read Tuesday on CNN.com that a Canadian teenager cried while being interrogated at Guantanamo Bay, and I couldn't help but wonder why that's news. Not just news - The top headline! What better way to breed sympathy with the enemy and distrust of the government than to show video of some shit-head foreigner crying because he's being asked some questions. You know what I say? Fuck him! Here's a little tip... Don't associate with known terrorists, supporters of terrorism, terrorist sympathizers, nutjobs and dirtbags, and you have nothing to worry about. Don't involve yourself in a religion that practices murder every day in countries all over the world. Personal accountability - Have we forgotten about THAT? Evidently. Besides, where is all the video footage of the 2,976 funerals that were held because of 9/11? We're not seeing many crying family members on CNN headlines, are we? Maybe they've moved on and forgotten all about their loved ones murders. Bullshit! But CNN has. They sure have.

By the way, of the 2,976 people that died, 2,740 were American citizens. 236 were from foreign countries. I'm betting Canada lost a few. I wonder what these bleeding hearts think about that, if they think at all...

Country-fied

2007-08-28T14:53:00.000-07:00

I've decided that if I were a back woods hick, I would name my children after guns. Even if I didn't WANT children, I would have them, so I could name them after guns. It would be pretty darn cool, I'll tell you that much.

One of those little mysteries....

2007-08-21T10:17:00.000-07:00

You know occasionally, you'll get a call from someone, and maybe you left your phone somewhere, so you didn't have a chance to answer it... But just a few minutes after the person calls you, you find your phone, and call them back... In this situation, I think it's inexcusable for the person who called originally not to answer their phone. Every time it happens, I think to myself: "You just called me... How are you not available?"

Two Cents

2007-08-08T12:04:00.000-07:00

If I hear that grotesque "Suicidal/Beautiful Girl" song by Sean Kingston one more time, I'm liable to do something terrible.

Was Barry Bonds well on his way to break Hank Aaron's home run record before taking steroids? Yes. Did the sun still come up, and life go on, despite the fact Bonds obtained the new home run record? Yes. As for me, when it happened, I was walking to the water fountain at work. I didn't even break stride.

Quote of the Day:

2007-08-07T21:45:00.001-07:00

"Your ass is grass, and I'm the lawnmower." - Unknown Marine Corps. Drill Instructor

Charms of the Irish

2007-07-26T12:24:00.001-07:00

I've decided I want to have an Irish accent. I'm getting bored with the status quo. And, that status quo has a lame, American, non-accented voice. I was watching cable television earlier today, cable television being a lightning rod for sweet-action accents, and I came upon a show called "A Haunting". Now, I normally would have passed right over this foolishness in search of Pride Fighting, or Judge Joe Brown, but, like a cat to a microwave, I was sucked right in, and the door was shut. Reason being, the victims of this "haunting" were Irish. And, they lived in Ireland. So, the entire family, and every person in the show, spoke with an Irish accent. They said things like "aye". This to me was a big deal. No one says "aye", quite like the Irish. I leaned intently toward the television, listening as the spirits used all sorts of spirit trickery to frighten, or possibly entertain, these poor Irish-folk. Then the testemonials started. Each family member told of their experience in the house.... And I listened. And I cared. And, because of their sweet Irish accents, I took them more seriously. So, if you want to be taken more seriously; if you want to get that job; if you want to impress your significant other, or get out of debt, or get rid of cancer - Learn to speak in an Irish accent. Because, it's cooler than regular American-talk. Thank you.