Country-fied

I've decided that if I were a back woods hick, I would name my children after guns. Even if I didn't WANT children, I would have them, so I could name them after guns. It would be pretty darn cool, I'll tell you that much.

One of those little mysteries....

You know occasionally, you'll get a call from someone, and maybe you left your phone somewhere, so you didn't have a chance to answer it... But just a few minutes after the person calls you, you find your phone, and call them back... In this situation, I think it's inexcusable for the person who called originally not to answer their phone. Every time it happens, I think to myself: "You just called me... How are you not available?"

Two Cents

If I hear that grotesque "Suicidal/Beautiful Girl" song by Sean Kingston one more time, I'm liable to do something terrible.

Was Barry Bonds well on his way to break Hank Aaron's home run record before taking steroids? Yes. Did the sun still come up, and life go on, despite the fact Bonds obtained the new home run record? Yes. As for me, when it happened, I was walking to the water fountain at work. I didn't even break stride.

Quote of the Day:

"Your ass is grass, and I'm the lawnmower." - Unknown Marine Corps. Drill Instructor

Charms of the Irish

I've decided I want to have an Irish accent. I'm getting bored with the status quo. And, that status quo has a lame, American, non-accented voice. I was watching cable television earlier today, cable television being a lightning rod for sweet-action accents, and I came upon a show called "A Haunting". Now, I normally would have passed right over this foolishness in search of Pride Fighting, or Judge Joe Brown, but, like a cat to a microwave, I was sucked right in, and the door was shut. Reason being, the victims of this "haunting" were Irish. And, they lived in Ireland. So, the entire family, and every person in the show, spoke with an Irish accent. They said things like "aye". This to me was a big deal. No one says "aye", quite like the Irish. I leaned intently toward the television, listening as the spirits used all sorts of spirit trickery to frighten, or possibly entertain, these poor Irish-folk. Then the testemonials started. Each family member told of their experience in the house.... And I listened. And I cared. And, because of their sweet Irish accents, I took them more seriously. So, if you want to be taken more seriously; if you want to get that job; if you want to impress your significant other, or get out of debt, or get rid of cancer - Learn to speak in an Irish accent. Because, it's cooler than regular American-talk. Thank you.