Charms of the Irish

I've decided I want to have an Irish accent. I'm getting bored with the status quo. And, that status quo has a lame, American, non-accented voice. I was watching cable television earlier today, cable television being a lightning rod for sweet-action accents, and I came upon a show called "A Haunting". Now, I normally would have passed right over this foolishness in search of Pride Fighting, or Judge Joe Brown, but, like a cat to a microwave, I was sucked right in, and the door was shut. Reason being, the victims of this "haunting" were Irish. And, they lived in Ireland. So, the entire family, and every person in the show, spoke with an Irish accent. They said things like "aye". This to me was a big deal. No one says "aye", quite like the Irish. I leaned intently toward the television, listening as the spirits used all sorts of spirit trickery to frighten, or possibly entertain, these poor Irish-folk. Then the testemonials started. Each family member told of their experience in the house.... And I listened. And I cared. And, because of their sweet Irish accents, I took them more seriously. So, if you want to be taken more seriously; if you want to get that job; if you want to impress your significant other, or get out of debt, or get rid of cancer - Learn to speak in an Irish accent. Because, it's cooler than regular American-talk. Thank you.